Turning the cheek from a kiss: dealbreaker?

A regular Facebook reader, Phil, tells me about a first date he recently had:

I met a woman for a first date coffee.  She gave me all the good signs: touching my arm, flipping her hair, great eye contact.  After the coffee date, she proposed getting a drink closer to where she lives, and I accepted.  After the drink, she told me she wants to see me again, but when I went in for a kiss, she gave me her cheek.  Is this a dealbreaker?

When it comes to first dates, or 100th dates, watching her signals to gauge her desire level is your only priority on a date.  Phil here must be reading and remember the BAM blog because he noticed some of the important signals that are important to rate a woman’s desire grade at a high level: touching your arm when you talk, playing with her hair, keeping eye contact, mentioning future dates.  These are all very important signs.  But then there are signs that can be attributed to a lower desire grade level, like turning her face when the man initiates a kiss.

Is turning the cheek a dealbreaker?  Should Phil call her for a second date?  Let’s look at the possibilities…

First of all, she gave enough positive signals to show that her desire grade is at least the B- level.  For those aware, the B- desire grade level is the lowest desire grade a woman shows a man that means that he still has a chance to skyrocket her desire grade level to the A level.  Still, the turned cheek keeps her in the B to B- desire grade level.

Some women honestly move slowly, but most of the time, a cheek means she likes you just enough to keep you around, but her eyes will be wandering when she’s not with you.  The women who move so slowly that they can’t handle a little peck on the lips after a great date have a bad problem: BAGGAGE.  On the other hand, some women just aren’t used to forward men, and maybe this gal is like that.  This is a good thing, because Phil has broken the ice.  She knows he doesn’t want to just be friends, so she has no excuse to assume that if and when he calls her for a second date.

Personally, I would call her for a second date, but I’d wait until the first Sunday that rolls around, and make plans for the middle of the week.  Don’t initiate text messages or emails, don’t call her to chit chat.  If she texts or emails you (a sign of high desire grade level towards you), reply as if you’re busy and will give her a ring another day.

Before you call her, do something else: get some more phone numbers from women you meet out and about.  You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.  By having a backup (or 10), you won’t hesitate to cut this bird loose if she balks at a second date, or if the second date goes bad.  Having a backup is of tantamount importance in the first season of dating.

It’s too late to go back now, but a few things I would have done in Phil’s place:

1. If she asked me to get a drink with her after coffee or tea and I did have time, I would have moved in for a quick smooch right then and there.  If she turned her cheek to me, I’d have said no and ended the date.  It changes the mood quickly and puts the mystery on her as to whether or not you like her.
2. Since having drinks after coffee extends that first date longer than is safe (you want to cut it shorter than she wants so that she thinks about you, and wonders what you’re up to after your early ending date), I would have finished the date when I still had some alcohol in my glass.  ”Sorry that I have to leave, I had fun tonight, thanks for inviting me out for a drink.”
3. When a woman turns her cheek to my kiss, that’s when I pull back and look her in the eyes and smile.  If she smiles back, I can usually know if a second date is wise or not.  If she turns her eyes away or looks nervous, it’s usually a sign of low desire grade towards me, or she’s got baggage that she needs to deal with herself.

Sounds like a near perfect first date, though, and I’m hoping you can get her out for a second one.  Follow the rules and her desire grade will skyrocket.  Break the rules before that date, though, and she’ll feel the hooks of ownership in you and her desire grade level will plummet down to below freezing.

Related posts:

1. The first date, coffee or tea
2. Does she like you enough?
3. Giving her some economic truth: dating supply and demand
4. Invited to a public event? Just say no.
5. Never accept tentative dates