Invited to a public event? Just say no.
February 6, 2010 by ABDada · Leave a Comment
A regular reader told me about something that happened to him recently:
A woman I dated previously seemed to be interested in me again, and she invited me to a public event she was hosting. I decided to go, but tried to be more determined in making sure that she didn’t take me for granted. I went to the event, didn’t really get any time with her at all, and left after 30 minutes. I sent her a text message telling her to contact me when she feels like it.
Here’s my one word reply: oops. Here’s my 4 word reply: stop being a doormat.
First of all, if you previously dated someone, they should stay in the history books. Why did you stop dating her? Her desire grade dropped below a B-, probably as low as a D or even an F grade, and she tossed you. Now she’s all of a sudden interested in you again, and it happens to coincide with when she hosted a public event? Did she want to see you, or did she just want as many gullible warm bodies as possible so her event felt successful?
We all know the answer here. If she wanted to see you, she would have offered you a date night for just you and her alone. She wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you, and she’d be contacting you more often than just for an invite to her public event. This wasn’t a date, and it surely wasn’t her showing any desire grade to you at all. You screwed up not only by going, but by showing her your cards and begging for her to text you back. I bet she didn’t even respond, did she?
If you get invited to a public event that someone is hosting or involved in, just say no. Always say no. I don’t care if it’s your wife’s party, if you aren’t going as her one and only date and companion, picking her up and dropping her off at home, then you’re not going. End of story.
If a woman invites me to an event she’s hosting, I do something different: I counter-offer to make plans on another night. If she says she’s too busy, her desire grade is in the freezing level. Another thing I’d do is ask her when her event ends, and see if she wants to get together after the event. Again, her response will tell me exactly what she feels for me.
Don’t think that a woman who sends you text messages really has any desire to see you. In this case, you know exactly why she gave you attention: she needed your body at her event, but any warm breathing human would do. It wasn’t you that was invited, it was an open invite and she knew that she could sucker you into showing up because you keep showing her how high your desire grade towards her is. She has a puppy dog, and all she has to do is pretend to go to the biscuit drawer and he’ll come running, even if she doesn’t give him a biscuit.
If you really feel like she wants you to come see her, you should’ve asked “What time should I pick you up to take you over there?” If she denies you the attempt to pick her up, that’s her telling you her desire grade is zilch. Or ask her “Am I your date for the event?” If she says no, then you’ve got more obvious hints that she has no interest in you. Even if a woman is busy hosting to 500 people, she will still want the guy she has a high desire grade towards around her as her date. You’re not that guy.
I hate to break it this hard, but you have to end all contact with her, even if she’s considered a friend. What kind of friend would abuse a guy who likes her this way? She’s not your friend, she’s not your girlfriend, so erase her phone number and delete her from your email contacts list. If she’s on your social networks, leave her there, but stop interacting with her, even if she interacts with you. You don’t need a game player in your life.
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