A-level Desire Grade

January 11, 2010 by ABDada · Leave a Comment

When it comes to grading the level of desire a woman has for you, and you have for her, the A desire grade is the one that is most exciting. When a woman has a A-level desire grade for you, you’re doing everything right, and she’s showing it to you through her actions, not her words.

If you have an A-level desire grade for a woman, it’s also good because it means you’re interested in her, attracted to her, you want to know her better and in more ways. The downfall here is to make sure that you’re not more head-over-heels for her than she is for you. As I’ve said before, if your desire towards her is a C+ or less, you’ll likely break up with her, but a woman will keep a man around even at a D- desire grade level towards him.

Here’s how to gauge if she has an A-level desire grade towards you:

She wants to see you and she says it in words, emails, phone calls or texts.
She thinks about you and mentions times that she does.
She shows excitement in written words (exclamation marks help).
She touches you physically when you’re with her (rubbing the back, the elbow, touches your shoulder or your hand).
She never turns down a date idea, even if it means she has to move other plans she’s made aside.
She talks about future plans and things she wants to do with you.
She mentions you to friends, family and co-workers.
She always accepts your kisses, and initiates some on her own.
She’s interested in your life, what you’ve done during the days and nights you’re not with her.
She keeps eye contact on you, doesn’t ignore you when you talk, and isn’t letting her eyes constantly wander around the room. She doesn’t have her cell phone out on a table when she’s with you.
If you’re sexual, she initiates intimacy on occasion.
She strokes your ego with compliments about how you look, how you’re dressed, or other nice or sweet comments.
She wants to introduce you to people important in her life, or does introduce you.
She responds to emails or text messages quickly, and always accepts your phone call if she’s able.

All of these are great features to get from a woman because it proves that she wants to continue dating you and that she’s more than pleased with what you have to offer. But all of these can also be traps, so a strong man has to be careful to realize the pitfalls and avoid them. Just because a woman shows a high level of desire towards you doesn’t mean that you can’t screw it up by giving in to her subconscious wants that might prove to her that you’re less of a man than she’s seeing.

Remember, a high desire grade from a woman towards you is not just physical attraction, but her desire to date a man who stays a little mysterious, a man she finds interesting and intriguing. Many times a man will screw up a great future relationship by sharing too much of his time or his information with a woman too quickly. Don’t be too available, and don’t talk more than she talks.

I’ll dive into the specifics more in future articles that I will link from this one, but here are some general rules to be aware of:

Just because she says she wants to see you doesn’t mean you should see her. Part of the trap that even the most confident and abled men fall into is being too available to a woman. It’s important that you don’t always spend time with her just because she says she’d like to see you. Most dates should be made by you, on your schedule, allowing her ample time to confirm that she’s free or for her to cancel other plans that aren’t as important as seeing you.
It’s good that she tells you that she’s thinking of you, but if you tell her the same thing too often, she can actually lower her desire grade towards you. It’s a weird glitch that straight women often have, the desire to “win” over a man they’re interested in, an action that they don’t even realize will loser their high desire grade towards the man. If she says “I thought of you today when I ate lunch” you should respond simply with “I’m glad I have that effect on you.” Make her wonder if you’re thinking of her, too. If she has to ask you if you do, there are other ways to answer than just by saying “Yes” and going into great detail.
Her excitement in emails and texts is an ego stroke for sure, but if you show too much excitement back, it can burn her desire grade towards you quickly. Be honest and offer that you want to see her, too, and that you’ll make plans for the next date soon and call her when you have your plans together. Show interest, but not TOO much interest, to keep her intrigued by you.
A woman’s touch, to me, is the #1 sign that she’s interested in me. It can be as simple as touching my elbow when she walks to the bathroom, or by having her knee touching mine. On the flip side, a man touching a woman too much will actually destroy her desire grade almost instantly. It’s part of the subconscious desire for her to “win” over you. If she touches you, let her, but don’t return the touch. Her touching you is what she wants: to be in control of the boundaries between you. Don’t screw up and put your hand on her back or her knee or her shoulder; by letting he come to you, it increases her desire grade for you. If you come to her, she’ll subconsciously think you’re needy or horny or don’t have full control of your desires.
If you propose a date and she really can’t make it, she better make a counteroffer. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t want to see you that badly.
If she proposes future plans, write them down discretely or remember to write them down when you can! Let her know that her ideas sound interesting and that you’ll do a little research and possibly propose something similar in the future. Don’t jump all over the idea, she wants you to make plans, reservations and a schedule.
Mentioning her to your friends, family and coworkers is important, but don’t tell her anything like this too soon. It’s better to tell her that you’re dating her because you’re interested in knowing her better, and that you can’t wait to share her with your friends and family when it’s obvious that she’s a keeper. If she asks why she’s not a keeper yet, be honest: you haven’t known her that long or that well yet!
If a woman doesn’t accept your kisses, she’s not into you, period. Even a first date kiss should be accepted on the lips, just a smooch. If she turns her head ever, it’s over. Also, after you’ve initiated a kiss after a few dates, she better be initiating some back towards you as well.
Just because she asks questions about your days and nights apart doesn’t mean you should answer them with full details. She wants a man with some mystery and intrigue, and if you share all (especially the nights you’re home alone doing laundry), she won’t find you interesting.
If she’s holding your eye contact, if her body is facing yours, and if her cell phone is in her purse and preferably off or muted, you’ve got her attention. If any of these things happen in the opposite direction, you’ve got a problem.
Getting the sex stage is a complicated dance: some women are faster than others, but it doesn’t mean those are easier than others. Regardless of how long it takes to become physically intimate, it’s important that she shows her desire for continued sexual acts through initiating on occasion. I firmly believe that a man should initiate more often than a woman, but a woman with a high desire grade should also be showing her desire through wanting to be with you.
Women hear from men all over their lives that they’re beautiful or that they dress pretty. You’re not going to tell her these things too often. In fact, it’s better if the woman compliments your looks and dress and style way more than you give compliments back. I rarely compliment a woman because her supply of compliments is already high. Your supply of compliments isn’t, and she should be fulfilling that market of needs that you have.
Just because she wants to show you off doesn’t mean you should, also. If she complains about not meeting your friends or family, let her know that it’s too soon: let her know that you’ve introduced other women you’ve really liked early on and they’re not in your life anymore, and you don’t want to jinx your growth together until it’s obvious that she’s going to be around in your life.
She replies to your texts or emails quickly? Great! Don’t be in a rush to write back. Women always complain to me after checking their cell phones or their email about how the guy they’re interested in doesn’t write back quickly. Why? He reads me, probably. The frustration they experience in waiting for your response is part of what makes them interested in you. Their heads are awash with fears and wonders and mysteries about what you might be doing: let them bathe in that frustration because it increases their desire grade level towards you. Don’t play games, just don’t be in a rush. Give your response some mental time. Re-read it and edit it for clarity, grammar and spelling.

I’ll write more on all 14 of these items: they’re all really important. Also, these 14 items are also important even if you’ve been with a woman for years, married or not. Keeping her desire grade high is of utmost importance, and being able to judge where she’s at with you is also important. A woman whose desire grade level towards you goes from an A- to a B+ can still be challenged to go back to an A grade. If she falls from a B- to a C+, there is almost no hope of returning her to where she was before.