When to call after a date
December 20, 2009 by ABDada · Leave a Comment
A female friend chatted me this morning with a bit of a freakout: a man she’s dating and had just slept with hadn’t called or text messaged her after their encounter. Her words were “I think he hates me.” This is a pretty common response from women when they’re thinking about you, when they’re wondering about you. It’s also a good response, even if it seems sad or mean.
Some “experts” will tell you to call or text a woman right away, but that’ll lead to big problems. Strong and stable women want to be interested in the men they’re dating. They want an edge of mystery. I’d even go so far as to say that the best women to date are the ones who may actually sit and wonder if you’re seeing other women. Why is that? It means their desire level for you is extremely high. If a woman doesn’t have a high desire for you, why would you want to be with her?
So when should a man call or text after a date? When he’s ready to settle plans for the next date.
Just because the strong man, or hawk, is confident and self-assured, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need an ego-stroke or external validation from the women he dates. Getting a nice text message, phone call or email after a date from a woman should be required if a man wants to confirm that she holds a high level of desire for him. Women who are silent after a date just don’t have high enough desire to contact a man and let him know they had a good time and want to see him again.
On the other hand, it’s very easy for a man to lose all hope with a woman and destroy her level of desire in him. The chicken-man is the type of guy to send a text message to a woman 5 minutes after he drives away from her place. He’ll text her repeatedly, even when she doesn’t respond right away. He’ll not think of how important it is for a woman to miss him and wonder what he’s doing, instead thinking it wiser to let her know he’s safe and being good. He’ll destroy all hope for a future where the woman is pushing her own limits in terms of how she dresses, applies makeup, acts around him and actively chases him for some attention. Women with low desire for a man just don’t care to do these things, whereas women with his levels of desire for a man will go out of their way to look and act like the woman he would want the most.
What if a woman doesn’t send you a nice thank you after a date? It’s not a deal-breaker, but it’s a good early detection sign that she might not really have a high level of desire for you. If that’s the case, consider reviewing how much you’re initiating communication with her that doesn’t revolve around asking her out for your next date. Are you initiating too many emails or text messages? Do you respond to them too quickly, telling her subconsciously that you’re boring and have nothing going on in your life to keep you busy?
When to break this rule: On some rare occasions, it is OK for a man to initiate communication, as long as he makes it a rare thing. Is a lady you’re dating having a down day because of some stress in her life? A random phone call, email or text can cheer her up. Be careful, though, because someone who needs cheering up daily may not be the person you want to commit yourself to for long. If you find yourself having to initiate communication often, it’s definitely a sign that her level of desire for you is low, or that she has other issues she needs to work out.
The proper time to initiate a phone call or text message or email is to set up the next time you’ll see her, face to face. Otherwise, respond in a timely fashion (but not instantly unless you really don’t have anything to do and are that boring of a man), and keep your most active communication in the proper time and place: face to face.
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