Ladyjargon: You’re cute but you’re too smart

January 31, 2010 by ABDada · Leave a Comment

A Facebook reader sent me a private message about a recent situation where a woman he ran into recently who fed him a line that he instantly tagged as ladyjargon (good job, fair reader!). She said:

“Oh, Kyle, you’re so handsome, but you’re also a genius, and that frightens me.”

It’s important to see that it is ladyjargon, because if a woman had a high desire grade level for Kyle here, she’d say “You’re so handsome, but you’re also a genius! I love that about you.”

Pulling apart ladyjargon never requires a back story, because it almost always comes from the same place inside of women: their guilt over not liking someone enough, and their fear of hurting guys by being honest. I’ve told women some harsh things in my life when I’ve turned them down, but I was honest. Honesty is the key to a solid hawk-man.

The “you’re cute but you’re too smart” comes in a variety of terms. I’ve heard men get “You’re cute but you’re so busy at work” or “I really like you and find you handsome but I think you’re into sports too much.” There’s alway a but, and that but is their exit as to why it will not work now. It also means it will never work. There’s a SMALL chance that she actually used ladyjargon as a pathway to get your attention in hopes you’ll give chase, which I’ll detail at the end of this post.

When it comes to a woman saying you’re too good at something, it’s her showing you the cards she should keep closer to her chest, but doesn’t. A man who is a genius or too smart is also a man who won’t act like a doormat for her. Some women want submissive men, men they can walk all over, men they can treat like throwaways. These women are also professional serial daters: they date men until the men are beaten into submission and ownership by the women, and then they throw them away. They do it over and over.

Some of these women say for decades that they’re looking for Mr. Right, but by the time they hit their 30s they never change. Soon they’re in their 40s and 50s, with dozens of men fallen along the path, out of time and money they used to present themselves as a show-wiping carpet outside of that woman’s door.

Can a man be too smart, or too driven to work, or too funny? Can a man be too much of a smooth talker, or too busy with friends or have too much money? No, he can’t. When women lower their desire grade level to a man they’re dating, it’s always because he’s not intellectual enough, he’s not funny, he doesn’t focus on his career, he doesn’t know how to please her with his smooth conversation, he’s too available and has no other friends, or he’s always broke.

Kyle’s lady friend who told him he’s too smart should have said “Kyle, you’re so good looking, but you’ll never get on your knees and lick my boots.” No, Kyle, you won’t. Nor will you chase this one, because she obviously has something she needs from the men she’s going to walk all over, like all the men she’s walked all over before you. Good job seeing her for what she meant!

There is still the other side: that she used confusing ladyjargon to try to bait you into chasing her. If she’s attractive, and if she’s someone you’d like to get to know, I say at least get her phone number and give her a call in a week or so. Ask her out (don’t spent more than 5-10 minutes on the phone). If she brings up the “You’re too smart for me” ladyjargon, just tell her that you know you’re way too smart, but you also know you’re way too funny and you’re great company, and that’s why you’re asking her out on a date rather than any other women you met that night. Let her take your bait, and then let her chase you.