Isn’t this just playing games?

I’ve heard something on occasion from women I’ve dated: “Why are you playing games with me?”  The proper answer to this question is always the same: laugh, and then say “I’m not playing games, I’m just giving you what you want from me.”  They’ll often disagree, but we’ll still date actively and happily and productively.

Other women who have read my various books and blogs on this very subject will say the same thing: I’m teaching guys to play games.  Again, they’re wrong.  This is never about playing games, it’s about fulfilling what solid women want but will never consciously tell us guys.  It is rarely the man who initiates gameplay or provides tactics that keep a woman’s desire level high.  Women often times use their own doublespeak, or ladyjargon, that confuse us and make us stumble.  Subconsciously, women are the ones playing games, and they do so in order to win the game they’ve initiated by accepting our first date request.

I’ve been in relationships as a hawk where things were solid for months or even longer, but the moment I slipped up and accepted ladyjargon at its face value, I lost.  Her desire level plummeted immediately.  Subconsciously, she knew she won, and there was no point in continuing to chase me and stroke my ego and show me that she wanted me in her life.  That’s why I hit the road, that’s when I’m out.

Because ladyjargon is verbalized through subconscious action on the part of a woman, it is very important for a man not to fall victim to any of it, from the most common ladyjargon (“I wish more guys were like you”) to the rare outbursts of insanity (“I’m sad today”).  Preparing yourself for these games ahead of time by being confident in your action and your own desires is what keeps you from getting hurt and heartbroken when a woman says one thing, but then acts the complete opposite way if you follow her verbal advice.

There’s only one way to know if a woman’s desire level for you is strong: she shows it in action, never in words.  In order to keep that desire level high, we have to resort to the opposite of her game playing tactics, we have to defend ourselves by helping keep her desire level high.  Follow this advice and you’ll have one of two outcomes: she’ll want you in her life and actively show it in action, or she’ll show her true colors when her actions don’t match up to her ladyjargon.  If it’s the second case, consider yourself lucky when you tell her you’re out.

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