That means you’re still dating and interested in a woman because you have an A-level or B-level desire grade towards her, not lower.  By understanding the B-level desire grade that she has towards you, you can be aware if it should fall into the C-level desire grade, which is the point that you have to break up with her, even if your desire grade towards her is still skyrocketed at the A-level.  You lost to her game tactics, and you want to save yourself time, money and heartache by getting rid of her since she doesn’t have the ability to do it to you (until the next better man comes into her life).

Here is how to gauge if she has a B-level desire grade towards you:

1. She mentions wanting to see you, on occasion.
2. When you propose dates to her, she always accepts, or at least will come up with a counteroffer if she can’t.
3. She mentions that she likes you, on occasion.
4. She initiates physical contact, on occasion, even if it’s light touching when you’re near her.
5. She always accepts your kisses and never turns away.
6. She answers your questions about her life when you ask them, in detail.
7. She keeps here eye contact on you and not her surroundings.
8. She doesn’t use excuses often to turn down sexual advances by you.
9. She responds to your emails or text messages in a reasonable amount of time.
10. She doesn’t ignore your phone calls often.
11. When you make dates, they’ve never tentative dates, they’re concrete.

If you look at the list of A-level desire grade features, you can compare them to this list.  I plan on making a desire grade comparison chart soon so you can look at them all side-by-side, easily gauging a woman’s desire grade towards you.

As you can see in comparison, it is still obvious that she likes you and wants to know you better, but she’s not as aggressive about it as if her desire grade was skyrocketing.  The various sub-grades in the B-level desire grade (B-, B, B+) are adjusted based on how often she does the things above.

Remember, if a woman has a C-level desire grade, or even worse a D-level desire grade, she’ll still date you, just so she’s not single and lonely.  She doesn’t like you, but you’re better than nothing at that stage.  The relationship is already over in her heart, and all it takes is a few minutes with a more interesting man to get her in the F-level desire grade point where she will use ladyjargon on you like “I think we need a break” or “I need some time.”  That’s the equivalent of “get lost.”

A woman at the B-level desire grade towards you still has an opportunity to get to the A-level desire grade, but it requires that you stick to the rules even stronger than ever.  A woman’s desire grade increases as a man becomes more interesting and mysterious to her.  When she thinks she knows everything about you, and everything you feel towards her, she’ll feel ownership, and her desire grade level will plummet forever, never to return.  If you’re at the B-level right now, you’re in fine shape. but you need to fulfill her economic dating need to question your life, what you’re doing, who you’re with, who else you might be seeing, and what makes you tick.

One of the fastest ways to take a B-level desire grade towards you to the A-level desire grade ceiling is to refocus all your conversations on her.  Let her do the talking.  The more she talks, the better of a listener you are, and the more she’ll desire you.  Don’t give her clear, concise answers to her questions about your life (this is what she wants, to not win over you quickly).  Answer her as vaguely as is possible, and turn those questions back on her.

Don’t be too available to her!  If she wants to see you, do it on your schedule.  If you really are that available that you can see her at the last minute any night of the week, it’s time for bringing some guy friends into your life, or even date more women casually so your time is occupied.  If she says “My night is open all of a sudden, let’s get together tonight” you should just tell her you have other plans.  Don’t say “I’m going to my mom’s house to cry about you,” just say “I have plans tonight, how about another night?”  If she knows what your plans are exactly, your mystery drops.  If you’re vague, she will immediately think you have a better woman you like more (even if you don’t), and that will raise her desire grade a half notch, plus she’ll dress better, look prettier, and give you more mental and emotional attention.

Stay far from bragging about anything in your life: braggadocio isn’t what she cares about, plus it gives her too much information about what makes you tick.  If you must talk about details in your life, talk about future plans you have for yourself, stuff that hasn’t happened yet so she doesn’t feel like she knows you.  The more you openly share without her feeling like she had to dig for information, the lower her desire grade towards you falls.  Women want to dig, they want to wonder, they want to create scary stories in their heads about all the women you’re dating and how all of them are more attractiver, skinnier and more emotionally stable than they are.  It’s a quirk, a glitch, but it’s the way it is.

Having a woman to date who has a B-level desire grade is a great thing because she’s giving you some signs that you need to continue dating her, she’s giving you some of the needs you have to feel like you’re doing a good job, and she wants to know more about you.  But it’s not enough, so follow the rules properly and get her to explode in how much she wants you in her life.

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If you have an A-level desire grade for a woman, it’s also good because it means you’re interested in her, attracted to her, you want to know her better and in more ways.  The downfall here is to make sure that you’re not more head-over-heels for her than she is for you.  As I’ve said before, if your desire towards her is a C+ or less, you’ll likely break up with her, but a woman will keep a man around even at a D- desire grade level towards him.

Here’s how to gauge if she has an A-level desire grade towards you:

1. She wants to see you and she says it in words, emails, phone calls or texts.
2. She thinks about you and mentions times that she does.
3. She shows excitement in written words (exclamation marks help).
4. She touches you physically when you’re with her (rubbing the back, the elbow, touches your shoulder or your hand).
5. She never turns down a date idea, even if it means she has to move other plans she’s made aside.
6. She talks about future plans and things she wants to do with you.
7. She mentions you to friends, family and co-workers.
8. She always accepts your kisses, and initiates some on her own.
9. She’s interested in your life, what you’ve done during the days and nights you’re not with her.
10. She keeps eye contact on you, doesn’t ignore you when you talk, and isn’t letting her eyes constantly wander around the room.  She doesn’t have her cell phone out on a table when she’s with you.
11. If you’re sexual, she initiates intimacy on occasion.
12. She strokes your ego with compliments about how you look, how you’re dressed, or other nice or sweet comments.
13. She wants to introduce you to people important in her life, or does introduce you.
14. She responds to emails or text messages quickly, and always accepts your phone call if she’s able.

All of these are great features to get from a woman because it proves that she wants to continue dating you and that she’s more than pleased with what you have to offer.  But all of these can also be traps, so a strong man has to be careful to realize the pitfalls and avoid them.  Just because a woman shows a high level of desire towards you doesn’t mean that you can’t screw it up by giving in to her subconscious wants that might prove to her that you’re less of a man than she’s seeing.

Remember, a high desire grade from a woman towards you is not just physical attraction, but her desire to date a man who stays a little mysterious, a man she finds interesting and intriguing.  Many times a man will screw up a great future relationship by sharing too much of his time or his information with a woman too quickly.  Don’t be too available, and don’t talk more than she talks.

I’ll dive into the specifics more in future articles that I will link from this one, but here are some general rules to be aware of:

1. Just because she says she wants to see you doesn’t mean you should see her.  Part of the trap that even the most confident and abled men fall into is being too available to a woman.  It’s important that you don’t always spend time with her just because she says she’d like to see you.  Most dates should be made by you, on your schedule, allowing her ample time to confirm that she’s free or for her to cancel other plans that aren’t as important as seeing you.
2. It’s good that she tells you that she’s thinking of you, but if you tell her the same thing too often, she can actually lower her desire grade towards you.  It’s a weird glitch that straight women often have, the desire to “win” over a man they’re interested in, an action that they don’t even realize will loser their high desire grade towards the man.  If she says “I thought of you today when I ate lunch” you should respond simply with “I’m glad I have that effect on you.”  Make her wonder if you’re thinking of her, too.  If she has to ask you if you do, there are other ways to answer than just by saying “Yes” and going into great detail.
3. Her excitement in emails and texts is an ego stroke for sure, but if you show too much excitement back, it can burn her desire grade towards you quickly.  Be honest and offer that you want to see her, too, and that you’ll make plans for the next date soon and call her when you have your plans together.  Show interest, but not TOO much interest, to keep her intrigued by you.
4. A woman’s touch, to me, is the #1 sign that she’s interested in me.  It can be as simple as touching my elbow when she walks to the bathroom, or by having her knee touching mine.  On the flip side, a man touching a woman too much will actually destroy her desire grade almost instantly.  It’s part of the subconscious desire for her to “win” over you.  If she touches you, let her, but don’t return the touch.  Her touching you is what she wants: to be in control of the boundaries between you.  Don’t screw up and put your hand on her back or her knee or her shoulder; by letting he come to you, it increases her desire grade for you.  If you come to her, she’ll subconsciously think you’re needy or horny or don’t have full control of your desires.
5. If you propose a date and she really can’t make it, she better make a counteroffer.  If she doesn’t, she doesn’t want to see you that badly.
6. If she proposes future plans, write them down discretely or remember to write them down when you can!  Let her know that her ideas sound interesting and that you’ll do a little research and possibly propose something similar in the future.  Don’t jump all over the idea, she wants you to make plans, reservations and a schedule.
7. Mentioning her to your friends, family and coworkers is important, but don’t tell her anything like this too soon.  It’s better to tell her that you’re dating her because you’re interested in knowing her better, and that you can’t wait to share her with your friends and family when it’s obvious that she’s a keeper.  If she asks why she’s not a keeper yet, be honest: you haven’t known her that long or that well yet!
8. If a woman doesn’t accept your kisses, she’s not into you, period.  Even a first date kiss should be accepted on the lips, just a smooch.  If she turns her head ever, it’s over.  Also, after you’ve initiated a kiss after a few dates, she better be initiating some back towards you as well.
9. Just because she asks questions about your days and nights apart doesn’t mean you should answer them with full details.  She wants a man with some mystery and intrigue, and if you share all (especially the nights you’re home alone doing laundry), she won’t find you interesting.
10. If she’s holding your eye contact, if her body is facing yours, and if her cell phone is in her purse and preferably off or muted, you’ve got her attention.  If any of these things happen in the opposite direction, you’ve got a problem.
11. Getting the sex stage is a complicated dance: some women are faster than others, but it doesn’t mean those are easier than others.  Regardless of how long it takes to become physically intimate, it’s important that she shows her desire for continued sexual acts through initiating on occasion.  I firmly believe that a man should initiate more often than a woman, but a woman with a high desire grade should also be showing her desire through wanting to be with you.
12. Women hear from men all over their lives that they’re beautiful or that they dress pretty.  You’re not going to tell her these things too often.  In fact, it’s better if the woman compliments your looks and dress and style way more than you give compliments back.  I rarely compliment a woman because her supply of compliments is already high.  Your supply of compliments isn’t, and she should be fulfilling that market of needs that you have.
13. Just because she wants to show you off doesn’t mean you should, also.  If she complains about not meeting your friends or family, let her know that it’s too soon: let her know that you’ve introduced other women you’ve really liked early on and they’re not in your life anymore, and you don’t want to jinx your growth together until it’s obvious that she’s going to be around in your life.
14. She replies to your texts or emails quickly?  Great!  Don’t be in a rush to write back.  Women always complain to me after checking their cell phones or their email about how the guy they’re interested in doesn’t write back quickly.  Why?  He reads me, probably.  The frustration they experience in waiting for your response is part of what makes them interested in you.  Their heads are awash with fears and wonders and mysteries about what you  might be doing: let them bathe in that frustration because it increases their desire grade level towards you.  Don’t play games, just don’t be in a rush.  Give your response some mental time.  Re-read it and edit it for clarity, grammar and spelling.

I’ll write more on all 14 of these items: they’re all really important.  Also, these 14 items are also important even if you’ve been with a woman for years, married or not.  Keeping her desire grade high is of utmost importance, and being able to judge where she’s at with you is also important.  A woman whose desire grade level towards you goes from an A- to a B+ can still be challenged to go back to an A grade.  If she falls from a B- to a C+, there is almost no hope of returning her to where she was before.

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The domestic wingman is something that no other relationship or dating expert will tell you about.  Most people don’t even consider the role as something really important in your steps towards dating someone else.  They’re not just important for a first date, they’re important for a 50th date.  The best part about a domestic wingman is that you can be their domestic wingman, too.  A bar-and-club wingman could be the guy who steals all the gals you find interest in.  They’re dangerous.  The domestic wingman is not about going out and watching your back or pointing out what lovely ladies are staring at you from across the bartop.

What is a domestic wingman?  Quite simply, they’re pretty much around to do what your mother would tell you to do before a date.  They’re the ones who will check your apartment or home for cleanliness from a neutral perspective; they’ll even check your car for dangerous items or smells.  If they’re local, they may be the ones who tell you that your beard is too ragged or your hair needs a trim.  They’ll tell you that your nails are longer than a female hand model’s, or remind you that you’re looking a little heavy after your Thanksgiving-and-Christmas dinner.

Finding a domestic wingman isn’t easy.  Males don’t want to think they need the support of another guy for things they’re bad at.  We think we can do it all ourselves, and I wish that was the case.  Proposing the idea to another man sounds really ridiculous, and in reality you’ll likely hear quite a bit of  laughter and denial before you find the guy that says “Hell yeah, that’s what I need, too!”

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Measuring how much desire a woman has for you will seem complicated at first.  The main grade points of A, B, C, D and F may seem overwhelming, but once you start noticing things from different women you trial date, you’ll become comfortable giving any woman you date an instant grade from date one through date 1000.

It’s important to start the desire grade chart at the average grade: C.  A woman with a C-graded desire in you will seem like she wants to see you, she’ll even use Ladyjargon to make you think she likes you more than she does.  The C-level woman is one that you should not date ever, not from the start, and end things quickly if a woman you’re dating gets to the C-grade.

Women who are dateable will be in the B- desire grade range to the A+ desire grade range.  Once a woman gets to the B- level, though, you’re on the verge of relationship collapse.  A woman can transition from B- to C+ very easily, and the relationship may still last months, or worse, years.  The issue is that once she falls below a B-, the relationship is basically over.  I’ve talked to hundreds of women in my life after a breakup where they said the same thing: “I was ready to break up a year ago and should have.”  If you go back a year to when they were ready, it was when they fell from a B- grade of desire to a C+, and then to a D, and finally to the F grade where the breakup just happens.

A woman won’t go from a C to a B, ever, but she can go from a B- to an A+desire grade if you understand what her real needs are and not the ones she pretends to want.  It’s important to separate her words from her actions.  Words will always throw off a man’s ability to grade a woman’s desire, as much by a full letter grade.  Ignore her Ladyjargon words, or use them to downgrade her, never upgrade her.  Only actions are acceptable meters to gauge a woman’s desire grade.

If you’d like to find out what each desire grade level means, click on the RSS feed icon at the top right of this website and add it to your RSS feed reader.  It turns orange when you hover over it.

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Ladyjargon comes in many different forms, from verbal display of feelings and attraction, to demands for what she wants and needs.  It’s complicated, because we men get so easily swayed when a woman strokes our ego.  Note: women should be stroking our egos, or they don’t desire us enough.  If you’re not getting the ego-stroke, you’re not desired enough.  If you are getting the ego-stroke, they’re doing their jobs, and there’s nothing you should offer in terms of payment or response.

Some ladyjargon is an outright lie with their words twisted.  You may have heard “I just want to be friends” or “Let’s not rush things” from women you’ve shown interest in.  In all of those situations, you ended up without that woman in your love life, right?  They knew, subconsciously, well in advance of you that their desire level for you was at the C level, or even worse.

There are hundreds of different ladyjargon phrases that I’ll try to cover in the Communication section under the subsection “Ladyjargon.”  If you have new ones you’ve heard that confuse you, drop me an email or a comment here and I’ll do my best to untangle the mystery of why she says something but acts the complete opposite.

WARNING: You can never call a woman out on her use of ladyjargon.  Most of the time, they’re truly saying things subconsciously in order to prevent you from running away while she can keep you on the backburner, or just because she’s not confident enough to be truthful.  The use of ladyjargon isn’t a dealbreaker, depending on what she’s actually saying in action and body language.

One big thing you should watch out for with ladyjargon is when they display obvious insecurities.  Everyone has insecurities, but if you meet a woman who looks great on the outside, but uses ladyjargon to subconsciously show you how broken she is inside, it’s a great signal that it’s time to be out of that relationship.  Just because she took the time to make herself look amazing on the outside doesn’t mean she won’t give you huge signs that she’s not OK on the inside.

When it comes to ladyjargon, the best way to respond to it is by seeing through her words, watching her actions, and tossing it right back at her in a way that makes her want to inquire more about you.  And when she does inquire, she’ll do it in ladyjargon, which gives you even more to throw back at her.  Her desire level for you goes up, and you get to dig deeper to see if she’s a keeper.

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As I mentioned in the definition of Man and defined in the past two articles (vulture and chicken), the final category of Man is the rarest: the hawk.

The hawk is rare not just because the average Man doesn’t realize the power of being a hawk, but he is also rare because he doesn’t show off.  A hawk is not one to be flamboyant always, nor outrageous or loud.  A hawk doesn’t give all his secrets in answers, and he doesn’t make people mad at him for being dishonest.

The hawk is powerful as a person because he is eloquent, he is sure of himself, he is a bit of a mystery, and he is just a great person to be around.

The hawk is not necessarily attractive or physically fit, he does not have perfect manicured nails or the most expensive and stylish clothing.  The hawk does not have to drive a hot new car, and he does not have to have the biggest bank account or shiniest credit card.  The hawk doesn’t need to use force to get his way, and he doesn’t have to beg or plead, either.

The hawk gets the right girl, lands the right job, gets the right deal and sits on top more than on the bottom of every situation — even without the other party knowing it.  The enemy of the hawk is not the vulture or the chicken.  The hawk has no enemies, only relationships.  The hawk knows that every person is valuable, and the hawk learns how to work with even the worst person to produce an end result that is beneficial to both parties in a relationship.

The hawk is the Man you will want to be, and I will tell you how to be one.  There aren’t any tricks, mind games or jerky maneuvars you will have to do to be this Man, you will just have to use common sense, even when your gut feeling works against you.

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As I mentioned in the definition of Man, the second most common form of Man is the vulture.  About 19% of men are vultures, a little under 1 in 5.

The vulture-Man is the chicken-Man’s worst enemy.  Mr. Vulture walks with an attitude, talks with an attitude, seems to always get the girl, and treats her like garbage if he treats her at all.  You might be this guy’s customer, and he’ll treat you like junk.

I’ve met vultures that are unemployed but are still successful with friends and women.  They can’t rub two dimes together, yet they’re never alone on a Friday night — someone wants to hang out with them.

Sometimes the vulture is the tattooed biker, but that is more a stereotype than a reality.  I’ve met vultures who are geeks, stock brokers and lawyers.  The vulture tends to be the one walking with the big stick, but inside they’re full of fear and hate.

The few vultures in my past were really the key to my finding the solution to being a Man.  I’d be the nice guy with people, and I’d get walked on.  The vultures were total jerks, and they’d always seem to get what they want and move on quickly.  I figured it was just how life would always be — the nice guy finishes last.

Yet as I aged, I realized that both the chicken and the vulture are futureless.  The chicken gets walked all over and lets himself get abused by his boss, his wife and his friends.  The vulture walks all over himself, and doesn’t let himself ever get ahead.  It is a constant game of overeating and purging — meaning people.

Looking deeper at the vulture, I realized that they were showing me something I didn’t realize before — that people have desires that can overcome their needs, and that people tend to be chickens if they are in the presence of someone who acts stronger than them.  This was mind blowing to me, as I couldn’t believe that I had always learned (from parents, friends, school, television and books) to be nice and sweet and always tell people what you’re thinking.  The fact was, I saw so many failures with nice guys, I decided to look closer at the vultures.

What I found was the complete opposite of what I grew up believing.

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As I mentioned in the Man definition, the most common form of Man is the chicken.  I honestly believe that 4 out of 5 in the U.S. fall into this category.  I myself was within this group for the first 16-17 years of my life.

How do you know if you are, too?

Do you have female friends who are “just friends”?  Do you tend to take orders at your place of employ and rarely give orders?  Do you always accept a price for a product or service and never haggle?  Do you tend to believe what you are told and rarely question the desires of others?

In terms of dating, being the chicken is almost as bad as being the vulture.  This type of Man often hears “Why can’t my boyfriend be just like you?” or “I won’t date you as I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”  Ouch.  If you’ve heard these lines, you’re there, friend.

As I’ve previously mentioned, all relationships that are to be considered successful can be rated a success when one simple fact is met:  both parties walk away from each relationship transaction with a personal profit.  Profit does not mean financial profit, it could be emotional, spiritual, financial or physical.  A grandparent shares joy with a grandchild — they both profit in the enhanced emotional outcome.  But if a grandparent has to put up with a pure evil grandchild, the transaction might not be profitable for the grandparent in any way.  This is how family relationships fall apart — one party invests (time, emotions, money) and the other party takes advantage.

The chicken-Man seem to always be at the disadvantage, and they constantly try to convince themselves that they’re happier because they’re willing to give instead of take.  The biggest myth I think we see in male society is that it is wrong to walk away ahead from any transaction — we have to accept every price, give rather than receive and put up with bad managers, bad girlfriends and bad customer service.  When we watch movies or television, the average Man on TV is the epitome of a chicken-Man, and they’re always successful.  The sweet guy gets the girl in the end, the nice guy becomes the boss, the gentle guy beats the evil villain.  This is not how life works, though, as the sweet guy ends up alone on Friday night, the nice guy stays the employee and the gentle guy gets walked all over and send home packing.

Breaking yourself of the chicken moniker is actually a very easy process, one that requires gauging what would make every relationship transaction profitable for you — and profitable for the other party.  The big problem is figuring out what the other party really needs instead of what they say they need.  Just as a car dealer won’t show you his true invoice price, you have to know what every person you’re dealing with really wants and needs.  When it comes to women, their secret desire is a complete 180 from what you’ve been told all your life.

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In recent years, I’ve realized that these 3 kinds of man can be labeled with basic imagery terms to make it simple to remember them. I’ve been able to not only judge people’s ability to perform from these basic terms, but I’ve also been able to figure out how I can profit from my relationship with them. If you’re going to be a regular reader of this site, you’ll understand that the terms “profit” and “relationship” are key to being a man, and there is nothing wrong with combining the terms.

My imagery words to label the 3 different kinds of man are bird names: hawk, chicken and vulture. The images that pop into your head upon thinking of those 3 words is exactly the way I will explain the man and what he is about, at his base.

80% of men I meet are chickens — they’re meek, they’re shy, they’re uncertain and they’re definitely not in control of the relationships they’re half of (lovers, business, family and friends). You might be considered a chicken if you fear interaction and confrontation and you’re worried about showing self-interest to the other party. I was a chicken for more than half of my life before I realized what I’ll be telling you here.

About 19% of men I meet are vultures — they’re jerks, they’re irresponsible, they’re broke, they’re possibly abusive, they demand respect and the chickens wonder why they get all the attractive women. The common term for a vulture is “asshole” especially from a chicken’s perspective.

The remaining 1% are the hawks — they’re self assured, they’re capable of making and holding eye contact with everyone, they’re the first one to put people at ease, they don’t demand respect but they command it anyway, and you’re not quite sure of what they’re about, but you want to know more. This is the end goal of what I’m providing here — to turn you chickens into hawks and to make sure the vultures stay away. I’m a geek, but a geek-hawk. There’s nothing wrong with being in control of yourself and getting what you want, as long as everyone you interact with get what they want as well. That’s the power of being a hawk — you learn what the key to every relationship interaction is: mutual gain.

When it comes to dating advice, it all falls into line with my living advice. There are no secrets, really, nothing special to learn or books to buy. Some people I’ve spoken to initially though that I was trying to mimic <a href=”http://www.doclove.com/”>Doc Love</a> or <a href=”http://www.fastseduction/”>Fast Seduction</a> but I’m not. I have no desire to turn you into those “by the book” guys who end up being vultures. I want you to be a Man, not a macho moron. There’s a big difference.

Related posts:

1. Vulture As I mentioned in <a href=”http://beaman.unanimocracy.com/2006/02/03/what-is-a-man/”>”What is a Man”</a>, the...
2. Chicken As I mentioned in <a href=”http://beaman.unanimocracy.com/2006/02/03/what-is-a-man/”>”What is a Man”</a>, the...
3. Hawk As I mentioned in <a href=”http://beaman.unanimocracy.com/2006/02/03/what-is-a-man/”>”What is a Man”</a> and...