I even find myself falling into that game by using those terms, and I don’t even mean to.  It’s time to stop; the only way we can do that is to review why those terms are wrong, and what terms are correct.

First of all, let’s define the terms Alpha, Beta and Omega when it comes to males:

Alpha: The Alpha male is the strong and confident guy who doesn’t take crap from anyone.  He’s set in his ways, knows his goals, and goes after them as long as they’re possible.  No one walks over the Alpha.  He’s coy and mysterious, he’s up for a challenge if he can see a finish line, and he’s cocky to the strong-willed and intimidating to the weak-willed.  I would estimate that 5% of males are true born Alphas.

Beta: The Beta is a door mat more often than not.  He doesn’t know how to say no to anyone in his life, and he’s likely to drop what he’s doing to take care of someone else’s needs even if he’s bad at it.  He doesn’t hold his ladies to a high standard.  Probably 75% of males fall into the Beta camp.

Omega: The lowest of the low of the Beta group, the Omega is out of shape, has no money and no prospect for stability, probably hasn’t had a relationship or sex in years, and has no problem with his life as it is.  Based on simple deduction of reviewing the number of Alpha and Beta males I meet in day-to-day travels, the Omegas total around 20% of males.

You absolutely CAN put any male into any of these groups.  Sometimes guys on the border might be Alphas with Beta qualities, or Betas with Alpha qualities, but you can also look at the color Yellow Green and Green Yellow and understand that one is still mostly green and one is still mostly yellow.  The issue isn’t about defining a male into one of these groups, it’s about defining a male as to what his future prospects are.

I threw out the Alpha/Beta/Omega definitions years ago when I came up with my own terms.  Alpha/Beta/Omega is a ladder, with Alphas at the top and Omegas at the bottom.  It’s not a very good definition because it doesn’t tell you what the male wants in the future and where he’s heading, it only defines what he is and wants right now.  My terms are different: Hawk, Chicken, Vulture.

It’s not too difficult to connect the Alpha/Beta/Omega group labels to the Hawk/Chicken/Vulture ones.   Chickens are always either Beta or Omega.  Hawks and Vultures are Alphas, for sure, but Vultures also have some Beta qualities when you take them out of their strongest environment (say a bar or a party).  The defining traits that separate the Hawk from the Vulture are easy to separate: the Vulture is out for one short term thing right now (typically, non-long-term sex) whereas the Hawk has determination for what he wants in the long term.

The Vulture is not too caring about a woman’s needs long term or short term, and uses game playing tactics he’s learned through knowledge of the typical female mind’s shortcomings to get what he wants right away.  The Hawk, on the other hand, knows what his needs are and puts them first, but is willing to barter for her needs if he knows he can take care of them.  The Vulture is willing to throw away a woman regardless of her Desire Grade Level because he knows she’ll only really be interested for a short period of time: game tactics have the effect of giving a Vulture an A Desire Grade Level right away, but it can quickly fall apart when she realizes he’s got nothing to offer her but mind games.  The Hawk knows he should only date women with a B or higher Desire Grade Level, and he can keep her there by sticking to being the driven and likable guy that he is.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of calling a guy an Alpha, Beta or Omega, but what does it really tell you?  Does it give you information about if the guy is trustworthy, liked by his peers, appreciated by his customers, loved by his family, and given a pretty good review even by his ex-girlfriends?  No.  They’re all useless terms to use.  That’s why I’m moving forward now by sticking to the terms I invented many years ago, and I hope you’ll join me in it as well.  There are 3 types of men: Hawks, Vultures and Chickens.  Use those terms and let’s put the Greek letters to rest once and for all.

Related posts:

1. The Pick-Up Artist (PUA) The Pick-Up Artist community has been growing in leaps and...
2. The Duality of a Woman’s Brain Women of all sorts (your mother and sister, your boss...
3. Hypergamy, Competition, Value Added Dating It’s a rough dating market out there, based on where...

In the prehistoric days of man and woman, a woman had her choice of strong men in the tribe.  Two (or more?) men could easily handle the reproductive game by battling it out: the winner got the spoils.  Fortunately (or unfortunately!), men today can’t throw themselves into a ring of awaiting females and beat each other senseless until a victor is standing strong.  The women don’t have that luck, either: they have the inner need for a man who can protect them, produce strong offspring, and the women desire to care and nurture the man after a long day battling prey for dinner, coming home bruised and bloodied but keeping the family well fed.  Instead, that inner brain is constantly prodding their outer brain to produce a variety of tests to prove to her that the man is a testosterone full beast who she can only barely keep under minimal control through her beauty and nurturing skills.

Those testosterone tests come in all shapes, sizes and colors: from making demands of a man when she first meets him (“buy me a drink!”) to more subconscious actions like inquiring into his life and digging into his secrets (keep those email passwords private!).  Even though her outer brain wants the man to answer her questions and bow to her demands, her inner brain is hoping and praying that he’s strong enough to say no to her more than he says yes.  It’s more than a want, it’s a need that her inner beast has to continue to prove that he’s the one who would stand victorious over the bodies of her other suitors, just like in the tribal days.

I’ve been dating since I was a teenager, and I’ve lost women because I fail their ongoing testosterone testing that comes directly from their inner, subconscious mind.  When they’ve tested me and I’ve won, their Desire Grade Level goes higher (or at least stays the same).  When I’ve failed their tests (either by answering them, or even just by lowering her curiosity towards my life), I’ve given her inner brain reason to lower her Desire Grade Level towards me.  In the long term, that has caused her to lose hope in being with me, and the relationship eventually fizzled.

Even after years of marriage, a woman will continue to test her man.  It’s been shown that women file for divorce 65-71% of the time (PDF link), showing that it isn’t the men who are walking away the majority of the time.  In non-marital relationships, I would guess from my own research that women are the enders more than 70% of the time, but they take longer than men do to actually make the decision (typically it happens when they find a new man who isn’t as easily duped into becoming a doormat through her inner/outer brain antics, yet).

It’s enough to make your head spin: how often have you done something against your gut instinct because you thought a woman wanted you to (or, worse, she said she wanted you to), only to have it have the opposite effect on the relationship?  How often has your inner brain warned you against giving in to her demands, but you’ve feared losing her so you kowtowed to those demands?  That’s the sucker mentality most men have: our fear of being alone overrides our gut instinct that tells us to be strong and say no.  Worse, that’s what her inner brain is actually expecting: she’s throwing you a test of your testosterone, making it seem like she has a need for you to provide, and you fail it by actually doing it, causing her to lose desire for actually following her verbal prompting.  It’s a nightmare!

The only solution for a man is to learn to say no, to practice it more and more, and to develop trust in your own gut instincts.  She subsconsciously wants a man to defend her and provide for her, but consciously she’ll ask for the opposite.  Say no, or ignore her testosterone tests completely, using a coy smile or smirk as your response.  It may cause her outer brain to act offended, but her inner mind will be smiling because she’s happy that you didn’t doormat yourself and let her walk over you.

Related posts:

1. Don’t fake it, do it. The past 2 weeks have been communication hell for me....
2. Smiling and finishing last: a primer Recent headline news around the web are pointing to a...
3. Alpha, Beta and Omega Males: WRONG. With the growth in traffic to the PUA websites by...

To me, the PUA community has one goal: sex, usually short term.  To the BAM readers, I have one goal: to make you a man so that all your relationships, whether business or love, friendship or family, can meet your needs that you have in your life.  One goal for a Primal Man certainly is amazing sex, but we also want an amazing job or business.  We want amazing friends, and we want to have strong relationships with positive family members.

That’s what being a Primal Man is: to find other people to have relationships with, and for those relationships to be fulfilling, sustaining and hopefully long term.  I don’t give advice on how to have a one night stand, and I don’t give advice on how to hop from job to job or new friend to new friends.  I’ll say it again:  I want you men to have fulfilling, sustaining and long term relationships.

I won’t take offense at the PUA community, because it has it’s place in society.  To me, most PUAs are vultures, not hawks, so if females can take note of the processes that a vulture uses to try to captivate them (for one night only), there will be better information for the females to shrug off their advances, while still being open to dating us real men who actually want something lasting and comforting and exciting and sexy.

For a primal man like myself, who practices a form of dating commonly called polyamory or non-monogamy (basically, the option for myself to see more than 1 woman, and being open to the women I see having relationships with others outside of me), it’s almost impossible for me to be a vulture.  Because I focus on long term relationships, and because my partner or partners are understanding and caring about my needs (short term and long term), the need for fast-and-easy sex is non-existent.  Yet MOST of the readers here are monogamous (or at least serially monogamous, what I title archipelagist), so I tend to focus most on finding ONE woman, ONE job, ONE wingman, ONE major hobby.

The tendency for a man’s mind and eyes (and eventually body) to wander from that one desired target is inherent in our genes.  The reason I practice non-monogamy is that I feel it offers my genetic makeup the best way to present itself without the stresses and realities of conforming to a lifestyle that just doesn’t seem to match up with human history.  Still, I advocate for people to strive to live a life that conforms to their morals, their beliefs, and their community’s norms.  This is why I want more males to be hawks, and let the vultures and chickens roost in the loneliness that comes from not expressing the genetic makeup that most straight males have: the expression of the hawk.

When you change your lifestyle to express these genetic desires, you start to shrug off many of society’s “rules” for men, rules that have been created over time by an ever-weakening male group-ego.  We’ve given up so much, some things that were necessary, but as we continued to lose our sense of man, we became habitual in continuing to give up aspects of our behavior and lifestyle that were absolutely not areas that should’ve been touched.

I find it grotesque to physically or mentally or emotionally abuse anyone else, but I find it grotesque when a male fears saying “no” to someone, out of fear that others might consider it abuse.  I don’t think a man should force anyone to do anything against their will or morals, but I also don’t think a man should be a follower when he’s genetically predisposed to being a leader.  I don’t ask for approval, but I always give people a million directions to exit if they don’t like my leading.

The Pick-Up Artist, on the other hand, uses mind tricks combined with time-limitations and even alcohol to produce a short term result that leaves many of their targets frustrated, depressed, self-loathing and possibly worse.  This does not help the reputation of men, it makes us seem like vultures rather than hawks.  The PUA system works, though, because there are so many women who only meet chickens, and they’re finally excited to meet someone with determination (“confidence”).

My goals here are to convert more chickens into hawks, so that women see the difference: a man who leads, but never forces.  A man who knows his goals, but doesn’t brag or share them easily. A man who allows a woman to dig into his life as she wants, but doesn’t play games with her head to trick  her into bed and then have him disappear forever.

If you’re part of a PUA community, I am not going to tell you to stop.  If anything, you may learn some processes that will push you out of chickenhood, and if you feel guilt over using women as one-use inflatable dolls, it may inspire you to want to do something better for yourself.  PUA tricks only work in the bar, and only help you get easy sex.

BAM standards here help you with women, with friends, with family, with coworkers and bosses, with people on the street every day.  It’s your choice, and I would never disparage it.  But I want more men in the world, because that’s who I call “friend.”  Vultures, on the other hand, are too self-involved and self-oriented to ever be a part of my life.

Related posts:

1. Alpha, Beta and Omega Males: WRONG. With the growth in traffic to the PUA websites by...
2. Hypergamy, Competition, Value Added Dating It’s a rough dating market out there, based on where...
3. Being a Primal Man Last week, a recently gained gal pal queried me about...

That means you’re still dating and interested in a woman because you have an A-level or B-level desire grade towards her, not lower.  By understanding the B-level desire grade that she has towards you, you can be aware if it should fall into the C-level desire grade, which is the point that you have to break up with her, even if your desire grade towards her is still skyrocketed at the A-level.  You lost to her game tactics, and you want to save yourself time, money and heartache by getting rid of her since she doesn’t have the ability to do it to you (until the next better man comes into her life).

Here is how to gauge if she has a B-level desire grade towards you:

1. She mentions wanting to see you, on occasion.
2. When you propose dates to her, she always accepts, or at least will come up with a counteroffer if she can’t.
3. She mentions that she likes you, on occasion.
4. She initiates physical contact, on occasion, even if it’s light touching when you’re near her.
5. She always accepts your kisses and never turns away.
6. She answers your questions about her life when you ask them, in detail.
7. She keeps here eye contact on you and not her surroundings.
8. She doesn’t use excuses often to turn down sexual advances by you.
9. She responds to your emails or text messages in a reasonable amount of time.
10. She doesn’t ignore your phone calls often.
11. When you make dates, they’ve never tentative dates, they’re concrete.

If you look at the list of A-level desire grade features, you can compare them to this list.  I plan on making a desire grade comparison chart soon so you can look at them all side-by-side, easily gauging a woman’s desire grade towards you.

As you can see in comparison, it is still obvious that she likes you and wants to know you better, but she’s not as aggressive about it as if her desire grade was skyrocketing.  The various sub-grades in the B-level desire grade (B-, B, B+) are adjusted based on how often she does the things above.

Remember, if a woman has a C-level desire grade, or even worse a D-level desire grade, she’ll still date you, just so she’s not single and lonely.  She doesn’t like you, but you’re better than nothing at that stage.  The relationship is already over in her heart, and all it takes is a few minutes with a more interesting man to get her in the F-level desire grade point where she will use ladyjargon on you like “I think we need a break” or “I need some time.”  That’s the equivalent of “get lost.”

A woman at the B-level desire grade towards you still has an opportunity to get to the A-level desire grade, but it requires that you stick to the rules even stronger than ever.  A woman’s desire grade increases as a man becomes more interesting and mysterious to her.  When she thinks she knows everything about you, and everything you feel towards her, she’ll feel ownership, and her desire grade level will plummet forever, never to return.  If you’re at the B-level right now, you’re in fine shape. but you need to fulfill her economic dating need to question your life, what you’re doing, who you’re with, who else you might be seeing, and what makes you tick.

One of the fastest ways to take a B-level desire grade towards you to the A-level desire grade ceiling is to refocus all your conversations on her.  Let her do the talking.  The more she talks, the better of a listener you are, and the more she’ll desire you.  Don’t give her clear, concise answers to her questions about your life (this is what she wants, to not win over you quickly).  Answer her as vaguely as is possible, and turn those questions back on her.

Don’t be too available to her!  If she wants to see you, do it on your schedule.  If you really are that available that you can see her at the last minute any night of the week, it’s time for bringing some guy friends into your life, or even date more women casually so your time is occupied.  If she says “My night is open all of a sudden, let’s get together tonight” you should just tell her you have other plans.  Don’t say “I’m going to my mom’s house to cry about you,” just say “I have plans tonight, how about another night?”  If she knows what your plans are exactly, your mystery drops.  If you’re vague, she will immediately think you have a better woman you like more (even if you don’t), and that will raise her desire grade a half notch, plus she’ll dress better, look prettier, and give you more mental and emotional attention.

Stay far from bragging about anything in your life: braggadocio isn’t what she cares about, plus it gives her too much information about what makes you tick.  If you must talk about details in your life, talk about future plans you have for yourself, stuff that hasn’t happened yet so she doesn’t feel like she knows you.  The more you openly share without her feeling like she had to dig for information, the lower her desire grade towards you falls.  Women want to dig, they want to wonder, they want to create scary stories in their heads about all the women you’re dating and how all of them are more attractiver, skinnier and more emotionally stable than they are.  It’s a quirk, a glitch, but it’s the way it is.

Having a woman to date who has a B-level desire grade is a great thing because she’s giving you some signs that you need to continue dating her, she’s giving you some of the needs you have to feel like you’re doing a good job, and she wants to know more about you.  But it’s not enough, so follow the rules properly and get her to explode in how much she wants you in her life.

No related posts.

If you have an A-level desire grade for a woman, it’s also good because it means you’re interested in her, attracted to her, you want to know her better and in more ways.  The downfall here is to make sure that you’re not more head-over-heels for her than she is for you.  As I’ve said before, if your desire towards her is a C+ or less, you’ll likely break up with her, but a woman will keep a man around even at a D- desire grade level towards him.

Here’s how to gauge if she has an A-level desire grade towards you:

1. She wants to see you and she says it in words, emails, phone calls or texts.
2. She thinks about you and mentions times that she does.
3. She shows excitement in written words (exclamation marks help).
4. She touches you physically when you’re with her (rubbing the back, the elbow, touches your shoulder or your hand).
5. She never turns down a date idea, even if it means she has to move other plans she’s made aside.
6. She talks about future plans and things she wants to do with you.
7. She mentions you to friends, family and co-workers.
8. She always accepts your kisses, and initiates some on her own.
9. She’s interested in your life, what you’ve done during the days and nights you’re not with her.
10. She keeps eye contact on you, doesn’t ignore you when you talk, and isn’t letting her eyes constantly wander around the room.  She doesn’t have her cell phone out on a table when she’s with you.
11. If you’re sexual, she initiates intimacy on occasion.
12. She strokes your ego with compliments about how you look, how you’re dressed, or other nice or sweet comments.
13. She wants to introduce you to people important in her life, or does introduce you.
14. She responds to emails or text messages quickly, and always accepts your phone call if she’s able.

All of these are great features to get from a woman because it proves that she wants to continue dating you and that she’s more than pleased with what you have to offer.  But all of these can also be traps, so a strong man has to be careful to realize the pitfalls and avoid them.  Just because a woman shows a high level of desire towards you doesn’t mean that you can’t screw it up by giving in to her subconscious wants that might prove to her that you’re less of a man than she’s seeing.

Remember, a high desire grade from a woman towards you is not just physical attraction, but her desire to date a man who stays a little mysterious, a man she finds interesting and intriguing.  Many times a man will screw up a great future relationship by sharing too much of his time or his information with a woman too quickly.  Don’t be too available, and don’t talk more than she talks.

I’ll dive into the specifics more in future articles that I will link from this one, but here are some general rules to be aware of:

1. Just because she says she wants to see you doesn’t mean you should see her.  Part of the trap that even the most confident and abled men fall into is being too available to a woman.  It’s important that you don’t always spend time with her just because she says she’d like to see you.  Most dates should be made by you, on your schedule, allowing her ample time to confirm that she’s free or for her to cancel other plans that aren’t as important as seeing you.
2. It’s good that she tells you that she’s thinking of you, but if you tell her the same thing too often, she can actually lower her desire grade towards you.  It’s a weird glitch that straight women often have, the desire to “win” over a man they’re interested in, an action that they don’t even realize will loser their high desire grade towards the man.  If she says “I thought of you today when I ate lunch” you should respond simply with “I’m glad I have that effect on you.”  Make her wonder if you’re thinking of her, too.  If she has to ask you if you do, there are other ways to answer than just by saying “Yes” and going into great detail.
3. Her excitement in emails and texts is an ego stroke for sure, but if you show too much excitement back, it can burn her desire grade towards you quickly.  Be honest and offer that you want to see her, too, and that you’ll make plans for the next date soon and call her when you have your plans together.  Show interest, but not TOO much interest, to keep her intrigued by you.
4. A woman’s touch, to me, is the #1 sign that she’s interested in me.  It can be as simple as touching my elbow when she walks to the bathroom, or by having her knee touching mine.  On the flip side, a man touching a woman too much will actually destroy her desire grade almost instantly.  It’s part of the subconscious desire for her to “win” over you.  If she touches you, let her, but don’t return the touch.  Her touching you is what she wants: to be in control of the boundaries between you.  Don’t screw up and put your hand on her back or her knee or her shoulder; by letting he come to you, it increases her desire grade for you.  If you come to her, she’ll subconsciously think you’re needy or horny or don’t have full control of your desires.
5. If you propose a date and she really can’t make it, she better make a counteroffer.  If she doesn’t, she doesn’t want to see you that badly.
6. If she proposes future plans, write them down discretely or remember to write them down when you can!  Let her know that her ideas sound interesting and that you’ll do a little research and possibly propose something similar in the future.  Don’t jump all over the idea, she wants you to make plans, reservations and a schedule.
7. Mentioning her to your friends, family and coworkers is important, but don’t tell her anything like this too soon.  It’s better to tell her that you’re dating her because you’re interested in knowing her better, and that you can’t wait to share her with your friends and family when it’s obvious that she’s a keeper.  If she asks why she’s not a keeper yet, be honest: you haven’t known her that long or that well yet!
8. If a woman doesn’t accept your kisses, she’s not into you, period.  Even a first date kiss should be accepted on the lips, just a smooch.  If she turns her head ever, it’s over.  Also, after you’ve initiated a kiss after a few dates, she better be initiating some back towards you as well.
9. Just because she asks questions about your days and nights apart doesn’t mean you should answer them with full details.  She wants a man with some mystery and intrigue, and if you share all (especially the nights you’re home alone doing laundry), she won’t find you interesting.
10. If she’s holding your eye contact, if her body is facing yours, and if her cell phone is in her purse and preferably off or muted, you’ve got her attention.  If any of these things happen in the opposite direction, you’ve got a problem.
11. Getting the sex stage is a complicated dance: some women are faster than others, but it doesn’t mean those are easier than others.  Regardless of how long it takes to become physically intimate, it’s important that she shows her desire for continued sexual acts through initiating on occasion.  I firmly believe that a man should initiate more often than a woman, but a woman with a high desire grade should also be showing her desire through wanting to be with you.
12. Women hear from men all over their lives that they’re beautiful or that they dress pretty.  You’re not going to tell her these things too often.  In fact, it’s better if the woman compliments your looks and dress and style way more than you give compliments back.  I rarely compliment a woman because her supply of compliments is already high.  Your supply of compliments isn’t, and she should be fulfilling that market of needs that you have.
13. Just because she wants to show you off doesn’t mean you should, also.  If she complains about not meeting your friends or family, let her know that it’s too soon: let her know that you’ve introduced other women you’ve really liked early on and they’re not in your life anymore, and you don’t want to jinx your growth together until it’s obvious that she’s going to be around in your life.
14. She replies to your texts or emails quickly?  Great!  Don’t be in a rush to write back.  Women always complain to me after checking their cell phones or their email about how the guy they’re interested in doesn’t write back quickly.  Why?  He reads me, probably.  The frustration they experience in waiting for your response is part of what makes them interested in you.  Their heads are awash with fears and wonders and mysteries about what you  might be doing: let them bathe in that frustration because it increases their desire grade level towards you.  Don’t play games, just don’t be in a rush.  Give your response some mental time.  Re-read it and edit it for clarity, grammar and spelling.

I’ll write more on all 14 of these items: they’re all really important.  Also, these 14 items are also important even if you’ve been with a woman for years, married or not.  Keeping her desire grade high is of utmost importance, and being able to judge where she’s at with you is also important.  A woman whose desire grade level towards you goes from an A- to a B+ can still be challenged to go back to an A grade.  If she falls from a B- to a C+, there is almost no hope of returning her to where she was before.

No related posts.

The domestic wingman is something that no other relationship or dating expert will tell you about.  Most people don’t even consider the role as something really important in your steps towards dating someone else.  They’re not just important for a first date, they’re important for a 50th date.  The best part about a domestic wingman is that you can be their domestic wingman, too.  A bar-and-club wingman could be the guy who steals all the gals you find interest in.  They’re dangerous.  The domestic wingman is not about going out and watching your back or pointing out what lovely ladies are staring at you from across the bartop.

What is a domestic wingman?  Quite simply, they’re pretty much around to do what your mother would tell you to do before a date.  They’re the ones who will check your apartment or home for cleanliness from a neutral perspective; they’ll even check your car for dangerous items or smells.  If they’re local, they may be the ones who tell you that your beard is too ragged or your hair needs a trim.  They’ll tell you that your nails are longer than a female hand model’s, or remind you that you’re looking a little heavy after your Thanksgiving-and-Christmas dinner.

Finding a domestic wingman isn’t easy.  Males don’t want to think they need the support of another guy for things they’re bad at.  We think we can do it all ourselves, and I wish that was the case.  Proposing the idea to another man sounds really ridiculous, and in reality you’ll likely hear quite a bit of  laughter and denial before you find the guy that says “Hell yeah, that’s what I need, too!”

No related posts.

Measuring how much desire a woman has for you will seem complicated at first.  The main grade points of A, B, C, D and F may seem overwhelming, but once you start noticing things from different women you trial date, you’ll become comfortable giving any woman you date an instant grade from date one through date 1000.

It’s important to start the desire grade chart at the average grade: C.  A woman with a C-graded desire in you will seem like she wants to see you, she’ll even use Ladyjargon to make you think she likes you more than she does.  The C-level woman is one that you should not date ever, not from the start, and end things quickly if a woman you’re dating gets to the C-grade.

Women who are dateable will be in the B- desire grade range to the A+ desire grade range.  Once a woman gets to the B- level, though, you’re on the verge of relationship collapse.  A woman can transition from B- to C+ very easily, and the relationship may still last months, or worse, years.  The issue is that once she falls below a B-, the relationship is basically over.  I’ve talked to hundreds of women in my life after a breakup where they said the same thing: “I was ready to break up a year ago and should have.”  If you go back a year to when they were ready, it was when they fell from a B- grade of desire to a C+, and then to a D, and finally to the F grade where the breakup just happens.

A woman won’t go from a C to a B, ever, but she can go from a B- to an A+desire grade if you understand what her real needs are and not the ones she pretends to want.  It’s important to separate her words from her actions.  Words will always throw off a man’s ability to grade a woman’s desire, as much by a full letter grade.  Ignore her Ladyjargon words, or use them to downgrade her, never upgrade her.  Only actions are acceptable meters to gauge a woman’s desire grade.

If you’d like to find out what each desire grade level means, click on the RSS feed icon at the top right of this website and add it to your RSS feed reader.  It turns orange when you hover over it.

No related posts.

Ladyjargon comes in many different forms, from verbal display of feelings and attraction, to demands for what she wants and needs.  It’s complicated, because we men get so easily swayed when a woman strokes our ego.  Note: women should be stroking our egos, or they don’t desire us enough.  If you’re not getting the ego-stroke, you’re not desired enough.  If you are getting the ego-stroke, they’re doing their jobs, and there’s nothing you should offer in terms of payment or response.

Some ladyjargon is an outright lie with their words twisted.  You may have heard “I just want to be friends” or “Let’s not rush things” from women you’ve shown interest in.  In all of those situations, you ended up without that woman in your love life, right?  They knew, subconsciously, well in advance of you that their desire level for you was at the C level, or even worse.

There are hundreds of different ladyjargon phrases that I’ll try to cover in the Communication section under the subsection “Ladyjargon.”  If you have new ones you’ve heard that confuse you, drop me an email or a comment here and I’ll do my best to untangle the mystery of why she says something but acts the complete opposite.

WARNING: You can never call a woman out on her use of ladyjargon.  Most of the time, they’re truly saying things subconsciously in order to prevent you from running away while she can keep you on the backburner, or just because she’s not confident enough to be truthful.  The use of ladyjargon isn’t a dealbreaker, depending on what she’s actually saying in action and body language.

One big thing you should watch out for with ladyjargon is when they display obvious insecurities.  Everyone has insecurities, but if you meet a woman who looks great on the outside, but uses ladyjargon to subconsciously show you how broken she is inside, it’s a great signal that it’s time to be out of that relationship.  Just because she took the time to make herself look amazing on the outside doesn’t mean she won’t give you huge signs that she’s not OK on the inside.

When it comes to ladyjargon, the best way to respond to it is by seeing through her words, watching her actions, and tossing it right back at her in a way that makes her want to inquire more about you.  And when she does inquire, she’ll do it in ladyjargon, which gives you even more to throw back at her.  Her desire level for you goes up, and you get to dig deeper to see if she’s a keeper.

Related posts:

1. Smiling and finishing last: a primer Recent headline news around the web are pointing to a...

As I mentioned in the definition of Man and defined in the past two articles (vulture and chicken), the final category of Man is the rarest: the hawk.

The hawk is rare not just because the average Man doesn’t realize the power of being a hawk, but he is also rare because he doesn’t show off.  A hawk is not one to be flamboyant always, nor outrageous or loud.  A hawk doesn’t give all his secrets in answers, and he doesn’t make people mad at him for being dishonest.

The hawk is powerful as a person because he is eloquent, he is sure of himself, he is a bit of a mystery, and he is just a great person to be around.

The hawk is not necessarily attractive or physically fit, he does not have perfect manicured nails or the most expensive and stylish clothing.  The hawk does not have to drive a hot new car, and he does not have to have the biggest bank account or shiniest credit card.  The hawk doesn’t need to use force to get his way, and he doesn’t have to beg or plead, either.

The hawk gets the right girl, lands the right job, gets the right deal and sits on top more than on the bottom of every situation — even without the other party knowing it.  The enemy of the hawk is not the vulture or the chicken.  The hawk has no enemies, only relationships.  The hawk knows that every person is valuable, and the hawk learns how to work with even the worst person to produce an end result that is beneficial to both parties in a relationship.

The hawk is the Man you will want to be, and I will tell you how to be one.  There aren’t any tricks, mind games or jerky maneuvars you will have to do to be this Man, you will just have to use common sense, even when your gut feeling works against you.

No related posts.

As I mentioned in the definition of Man, the second most common form of Man is the vulture.  About 19% of men are vultures, a little under 1 in 5.

The vulture-Man is the chicken-Man’s worst enemy.  Mr. Vulture walks with an attitude, talks with an attitude, seems to always get the girl, and treats her like garbage if he treats her at all.  You might be this guy’s customer, and he’ll treat you like junk.

I’ve met vultures that are unemployed but are still successful with friends and women.  They can’t rub two dimes together, yet they’re never alone on a Friday night — someone wants to hang out with them.

Sometimes the vulture is the tattooed biker, but that is more a stereotype than a reality.  I’ve met vultures who are geeks, stock brokers and lawyers.  The vulture tends to be the one walking with the big stick, but inside they’re full of fear and hate.

The few vultures in my past were really the key to my finding the solution to being a Man.  I’d be the nice guy with people, and I’d get walked on.  The vultures were total jerks, and they’d always seem to get what they want and move on quickly.  I figured it was just how life would always be — the nice guy finishes last.

Yet as I aged, I realized that both the chicken and the vulture are futureless.  The chicken gets walked all over and lets himself get abused by his boss, his wife and his friends.  The vulture walks all over himself, and doesn’t let himself ever get ahead.  It is a constant game of overeating and purging — meaning people.

Looking deeper at the vulture, I realized that they were showing me something I didn’t realize before — that people have desires that can overcome their needs, and that people tend to be chickens if they are in the presence of someone who acts stronger than them.  This was mind blowing to me, as I couldn’t believe that I had always learned (from parents, friends, school, television and books) to be nice and sweet and always tell people what you’re thinking.  The fact was, I saw so many failures with nice guys, I decided to look closer at the vultures.

What I found was the complete opposite of what I grew up believing.

No related posts.